How-To Guide
How to start and run a Wilding Women Circle
by Karen Chevallier
Principles
A Wilding Women circle is based on the principles of confidentiality and inclusion.
Confidentiality
Outside the circle we can share WHAT was said, but not WHO said it.
Inclusion
We prevent discrimination of any kind, and we uphold the freedom to be who we are, regardless of sexual orientation, religion, colour, ethnicity, ancestry, citizenship, age, neuro-diversity, physical abilities, or any other aspect which makes us unique. We operate with equity, to welcome and raise others up, so that we all stand together as equals as we share, learn and celebrate our journey together.
The Practical Side
This ‘recipe’ is based on holding the conversations on Zoom, on the Wilding Women Zoom account. When face to face meetings become possible, we will add more details. The underpinning principles remain always the same.
We suggest meeting every three or four weeks, depending on what the circle prefers.
We have found that with a large group it can be useful to use Zoom break-out groups. We always assign people randomly – it makes for fascinating and unexpected conversations.
Once you have signed up for starting a Wilding Women circle we will give you access to the Wilding Women Zoom account.
Starting a Circle
What a Circle Does
A Wilding Women circle supports and celebrates its women and the shifts we have made in our lives. We hold regular conversations, and members write and share their stories.
You
You will have already been part of two or three Wilding Women conversations, and have a feel for how they work.
Who to Invite
We suggest starting with a group of about eight or ten women. You know the women you want to join the conversation – open-minded, curious, able to be quiet and to listen, comfortable with silence as well as with sharing ideas. Fun and irreverent, interesting and interested. From all parts of the country, and of the world; all ages, all communities and ethnicities, all languages and customs.......
One or two members of the core group will come along to the first two meetings to support the circle as it forms, in whatever ways might be needed.
Planning & Holding Conversations
Start and finish on time. Zoom can be exhausting, and sixty minutes is just right – it always feels slightly too short, which is perfect!
Gathering Together
Check-in and gentle breathing to help everyone land in the space. Invent your own process, or use the ones below.
Check-in can be “One word that says how I feel right now” or “My wish for the conversation”
Gentle breathing can be as simple as “Breathe in for the count of three – and out for the count of six” repeated three times.
Engaging
Leave a breath between one person finishing speaking …. and the next person starting
All the voices are heard – space for everyone to speak
All the voices are heard – no one obliged to speak
All the voices are heard – uninterrupted, not cut across
All the voices are heard – each takes responsibility for their own time-taking and turn-taking
Opening
Usually there is a prompt or a topic to be explored. The first conversations, for example, could look at ‘What is wilding?’ ‘How does it show up in my life?’ ‘What difference has it made to me?’
We have had themes and topics as varied as ‘Gifts’ and ‘Spring’ – each was a starting point, and as the conversation developed it ranged far and wide and deeply into life questions.
Closing
A check-out rounds the session off – and can be a single word again: “How I feel right now” Or a single sentence “What I will take with me from the conversation”.
Someone can take notes and circulate them afterwards if you want – the chat section often holds ideas that are well worth sharing. Or you may decide to let the conversations stand on their own, so women take from them what they want at the time. The circle’s decision.
Conversation Guidelines
There are simple guidelines for the feel of a wilding conversation:
Hallmarks
Deep listening
Collaboration
Generosity
Sharing
Openness
Vulnerability
Trust and trust-worthiness
Abundance
Laughter
Joy
Argument and winning have no place in wilding conversations.
Feelings
I feel included, valued and respected as I am.
I feel empowered to bring my full agency as the author of my life
I feel nourished – we each bring and share our own experience and truth. I cannot speak for others, only from ‘I’ and from my lived authentic experience.
I feel safe to say my truth – I know that my contributions will be heard with respect and appreciation by everyone, whether or not they agree with what I am saying.