Wilding Conversations

Past Conversation No.1: What does wilding mean to each of us?

In September 2020 we explored what wilding meant to each of us.  We discovered that wilding was finding out who each of us really are in all our multiplicity and depth: recognising, accepting and reclaiming ourselves, finding our emotional roots. “The moment when I became myself.”

Wilding is travelling in time inside ourselves – in memories, intellectual and physical.

We appreciated the tenderness and energy from the group.

We explored childhood – some had had idyllic childhoods and yearned to recover the child’s sense of wilding. Others had difficult childhoods and wanted only to break free of them and of the sense of powerlessness they had felt then. When parents used the word “wild,” it was threatening, unpredictable, untamed, adrenalin-filled. When we used the word, it was joyful. It became even more infused with energy as a verb “wilding” as in “I was wilding with the hypnotic music.” The word is imprinted with meaning when used as a modifier such as in “a wilding exploration through the woods.”

We realised that all moments hold wilding possibilities and choice; all moments are a continuum on which wilding is possible at all times. The threads are continuously present – everything is connected and we end up where we’re meant to be.

We talked about how so often society couldn’t accept our change in behaviour, in attitude as we embraced our sense of our own wildness, our full connection with the life force. We gave ourselves permission to take risks, to push through the fear – as, for example, in mountain climbing.

Wilding, we agreed, is also a verb, an action, a movement.

Past conversation No.2: What is wilding and what is it for?

“I’m no longer trying to be smaller than I am” and “I can be as big as I want”

Two phrases in particular that made this a memorable conversation.  In this conversation we deepened our exploration of what wilding is, and shared our questions about it.

We asked: “What is wilding?” and our answers included the ideas that it is new learning, new insights, a process, enquiring together, learning to be free, and to invent (impose) a new place for women in societies.

 We looked at the themes that were emerging: the deep feminine – beautiful and dark; being fear-less; relishing the ‘bad girl’ in me – what society doesn’t like: speaking up, making people uncomfortable, swearing.  Forging our own paths means being able to say No, that’s not okay; and knowing that when people say you frighten them, you’re too strong for them.  And at the same time, living outside the box with empathy.

We explored our childhoods, and identified two different approaches, depending on whether childhood was positive or negative. Concluding that as a child, wilding happened in the gaps between school and home, moments when there was no authority present.

Connections with nature emerged as of key importance: as soon as we start being curious about ourselves, that is when we move into wilding and being in nature. Daring to do it: on a mountaintop, on a riverside walk, by the ocean, facing the unknown, the scary, the dark; facing mixed up emotions and seeing where they will take me – I will go in!!! And protecting biodiversity and contributing to adaptation to climate change – not only to be contemplative towards nature but also actively preserving it.

We looked at what we had let go of, or were trying to shed, realising “I was trying to please others so much I became ill”, and that we were “Living to others’ expectations and stereotyped roles”. Enough was enough – we were letting go of all the “good woman” boxes and “becoming who I am again”, shedding what doesn’t fit us, what is imposed, what is stereotype.

We shared the “questions I bring”, asking what is the common ground between us all, what we could expect from each other, what is the purpose of this community of wilding women, how can we share these questions and bring more understanding about what wilding is?

It was fascinating listening to others’ life experiences, sharing in others’ ideas of what it is to be a wilding woman, connecting with other wilding women along the way, all with different paths. And being part of a supportive community – finding out how to be part of a supportive community without being “in a group”.